The ten laws of driving in Algiers

While my driver Nounow is generally a wonderful, helpful gentleman, he turns into a maniac when he gets in behind a steering wheel. Traveling with an Algerian driver is definitely not for the squeamish, made worse by the fact that the city has no traffic lights to speak of, a total of about two stop signs, and a zillion traffic circles that each split into at least thirteen roads and become a complete mess during peak hour. Judging by their ad hoc way of driving it seems that Algerian road users simply make up the traffic rules as they go along. So to help codify the traffic regulations of Algiers I've come up with the following suggestions:

1. When entering a four way crossing, oncoming traffic will slow down for you.
   Pass slower cars anywhere, anytime. Trust that oncoming cars will slow down enough to allow you to pass. If they don't they'll move off the road anyway.
2. When in a hurry, switch on emergency lights, hoot, and proceed to drive at top speed in the emergency lane.
3. Feel free to park people in. In turn, when you yourself are parked in, hoot continuously until the offending driver arrives.
4. You may come across a foreigner who is upset by your driving. Simply shake your head, and proceed to loudly voice your opinion in your unique Franco-Arabic dialect that no-one from outside Algeria understands.
5. Always do your utmost to jump a queue of cars.
6. It's OK to go up a one way street, as the oncoming traffic will move aside to let you through.
7. When lost, don't hesitate to stop anywhere to ask for directions. Ignore the cars hooting behind you.
8. Join in and play the popular traffic game called 'I can pass closer to your car than you can to mine'. I've heard the records stands at 2,35mm.
9. Remember there's a traffic fine for not using your hooter at least three times during a trip.
10. Pedestrians can appear ahead of you in the road at any given time, since 'pedestrian crossing' isn't a concept that has been discovered in Algeria yet. Do your utmost to miss them while at the same time scaring the living daylights out of them.

On the upside I must say despite the way they drive I've never seen an Algerian driver become aggressive or abusive, and the quality of the main roads and highways are excellent. But I'm really missing those polite, considerate Jo'burg drivers.